I’m 69 and “not long for this world,” as some put it, and there are no other worlds. The end is near -how near I have no idea at this moment- and there is no afterlife. If I was religious, e.g., a devout Christian, and believed in God and an afterlife, an eternity in heaven or hell for my “immortal” and immaterial “soul,” I’d be terrified of dying even if I was 95% certain I was going to heaven rather than hell since I believed that Jesus was the son of God who was born of a virgin and resurrected after his death by crucifixion. If Christianity is true, then I will “burn in hell for eternity.” But since Jesus, assuming he existed, was and is not the son of a God that doesn’t exist, and the idea of hell is a sick and evil fantasy, I’m not worried, and have never worried, not even for a moment.

For an atheist who rejects the tenet of mind/body dualism, the fantasy of a soul and afterlife, what’s to fear in and of death? Death is oblivion, nothingness, the cessation of consciousness, the end of pain and suffering, liberation and surcease from the “hell that is other people,” the annihilation of a lifetime of memories in which (for me and for most people) the bad and worse far exceed the good and better. Death is like falling asleep, with no dreams, and not waking. Thus I face the end with stoicism and equanimity.

And some of the worst memories and thoughts that will die when I die are those of Abigail crying not only after but also before hearing the guilty verdicts; Abigail at her sentencing, so debilitated and mortified by fear and angst and despair and lack of sleep that she could barely walk or even stand and almost collapsed twice; depressing images of her crying with damp and matted hair and no make-up and wearing the same denim unisex jump-suit that is worn by violent and/or recidivist male criminals, shackled for over 2-hours in handcuffs attached to a waist-chain and leg-irons when there was no exigent and practical reason she had to be shackled in this manner or in any manner to protect anyone and/or to prevent her from escaping; thoughts of her life in jail and then prison and her life after prison, a life-sentence of electronic parole-monitoring with an ankle-tether/”bracelet” she can never remove and public sex-offender registration, etc.

Given the SC decision, she’ll be enslaved for almost 5 more years, at least, and perhaps longer. I’ll be 73 or older when she’s finally released. So it’s possible, if not likely, that I’ll die when she’s still in prison.